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Dec. 6th, 2009

The Settled For

We call it settling
When we find something "not to bad"
The settled for don't always know their status
If they did it may make them a little sad

We find love, or what we think love is
and we hold on for our lives
we don't hear our hearts speaking
knowing things will never end up right

Were young and have time
but we rush things too much
they kill us and leave us heart broken
but we put up with such

To feel wanted for 5 minutes
beats being alone for a lifetime
no matter where we find these "loves"
to not love would almost be a crime

So we waste heart and money
and love and affection
to find someone on the internet
for a couple minutes of an erection...

Thats forward and embarrassing
But understand why I say
That feeling love for just a minute
Lets us live for another day


Oct. 15th, 2009

Fancy Eh?

 e.b.o.n.y if i say i didnt miss u that would be a lie
the time we spent together no words could describe
i couldnt find the answers so i had to the turn to the sky
they say you dont know what you have till its gone
losing you made me regret the day i was born
lifes depressing always stressing i shoulda known havin you were a fuckin blessin
lifes good knowing that your doing better, hence i took the time just to right u this letter
the fights the love the heartbreak, i smile knowing you dont feel any heartache.
loving you was the best moment in my life, having you as my girl best friend and my wife.
never selfish there wasnt a thing i wouldnt share, you werent baby or my hunny you were
mamabear. trust me when i say i didnt mean to lie, but how could hurt someone as delicate
as a butterfly. if i had a chance i would change it all , i would be there to catch u
so you couldnt fall , i would be there be to wipe the tears from your eye, to watch a
sunset in gorgeous reno sky.
this is my plea better yet this is all i got left, and il always love you right down to my
last breath
tanner will always be like son , buggin out laughing we used to have mad fun
when your nana passed, i felt like i lost mine too , didnt know what to say
so all i said was i love you,
It may seem like happier without you . the truth is i cant do nothing without you
this is my therapy better yet how i cope, il never let you go my heart filled with endless hope.

Jun. 22nd, 2009

oh yea...

 if i could I'd write your name in the sky, but for now sand will have to do. <3

May. 23rd, 2009

oh my...

 romanceisdead.: add me and ill let u see when we get it up
idith: right on
Im Chris, Nerd/Loser: you would show him when you get it up
Im Chris, Nerd/Loser: homo
NY.JOSEPH.ANTHONEY.©: fucking A theres this one spider in my room that wont go away. 1
NY.JOSEPH.ANTHONEY.©: 1
romanceisdead.: chris..want to fuck?
Im Chris, Nerd/Loser: your dick
Epic_Ebony: bahaha chris... ur silly
NY.JOSEPH.ANTHONEY.©: gooddamn
Im Chris, Nerd/Loser: hell yeah
Im Chris, Nerd/Loser: I am dtf
romanceisdead.: FUCK ME!
NY.JOSEPH.ANTHONEY.©: <<deathly afraid of spiders
Im Chris, Nerd/Loser: I give js
idith: dude there isnt a way this shit is going with out me
idith: js
Im Chris, Nerd/Loser: Mangasm?
romanceisdead.: lmfao
Im Chris, Nerd/Loser: my place?
idith: more than one
JÖñÄ™ {Jµñïðrßµ††Hðlê}: lol
Im Chris, Nerd/Loser: can we do foot spas later?
romanceisdead.: jona wants in i can tell
idith: hahaha
romanceisdead.: yes.
Im Chris, Nerd/Loser: with a salt soak?
idith: what the hell
idith: i want to fuck not get pampered
JÖñÄ™ {Jµñïðrßµ††Hðlê}: lmao
NY.JOSEPH.ANTHONEY.©: bye ebony. im going to the other room cause of this spider.. goodnight <3
Epic_Ebony: nite nite joe
* NY.JOSEPH.ANTHONEY.© left the room.
romanceisdead.: bye anthoney i love u
Im Chris, Nerd/Loser: I want to fuck so hard, that i will need the pampering to heal my ass hole
romanceisdead.: freaky
Im Chris, Nerd/Loser: Idith, I want you to break my anus
Im Chris, Nerd/Loser: I want you to suck my dick so hard, your lips leave suction rings around my junk
Im Chris, Nerd/Loser: no homo
romanceisdead.: oh thats not gay at all
idith: im gunna bind your feet like the chinese

Apr. 8th, 2009

3:54 am

 and in his high
i've lost him
i'm so confused
the I love you's mean nothing
conversation is pointless
but I love him
more than I've ever loved anyone else
so what do I do?
theres been no response
for some time now
and when he gets back
he won't be the boy
who I call mine
its like getting thrown into a room with a complete stranger
who's heart you love
but who's mind you can hardly comprehend
and still I have no doubts
that he's my everything

First Time

 And She Sits In Silence
Confused as to the world spinning around her
an addiction has broken her heart
and theres not a single thing she can do about it

all of her talents blur
the shutter of her camera
the warmth of her heart
no beautiful pictures
and a stone in her chest

he's about to shoot up
and I can't do a thing about it
the tears are streaming down her face
waterfall would be an understatement

and all she can do is write
the tears won't stop now
he said he was sorry
and I've never felt so useless

I would give everything I had
I would give up love forever
my breaths are shorter 
and I'm shaking

my tears just turned to anger
doesn't he realize how 
talented he is?
brilliant?

and then my mind catches up with me....

and I'm speechless

Mar. 22nd, 2009

SIGNS Code

 <center><br />Listening to music, <br />Hanging out at shows <br />Photography <br />Stickam Obviously <br /><a href="http://s30.photobucket.com/albums/c326/scenechick/?action=view&current=signs.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i30.photobucket.com/albums/c326/scenechick/signs.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /> <a href="http://s30.photobucket.com/albums/c326/scenechick/?action=view&current=kadebby.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i30.photobucket.com/albums/c326/scenechick/kadebby.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /> <a href="http://s30.photobucket.com/albums/c326/scenechick/?action=view&current=tatiana.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i30.photobucket.com/albums/c326/scenechick/tatiana.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /> <a href="http://s30.photobucket.com/albums/c326/scenechick/?action=view&current=sparklez-1.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i30.photobucket.com/albums/c326/scenechick/sparklez-1.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /> <a href="http://s30.photobucket.com/albums/c326/scenechick/?action=view&current=keke-1.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i30.photobucket.com/albums/c326/scenechick/keke-1.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /> <a href="http://s30.photobucket.com/albums/c326/scenechick/?action=view&current=papa.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i30.photobucket.com/albums/c326/scenechick/papa.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /> <a href="http://s30.photobucket.com/albums/c326/scenechick/?action=view&current=cheyfavi.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i30.photobucket.com/albums/c326/scenechick/cheyfavi.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /> <a href="http://s30.photobucket.com/albums/c326/scenechick/?action=view&current=kadesign.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i30.photobucket.com/albums/c326/scenechick/kadesign.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /> <a href="http://s30.photobucket.com/albums/c326/scenechick/?action=view&current=joseph1.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i30.photobucket.com/albums/c326/scenechick/joseph1.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><a href="http://s30.photobucket.com/albums/c326/scenechick/?action=view&current=joseph2.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i30.photobucket.com/albums/c326/scenechick/joseph2.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /> <a href="http://s30.photobucket.com/albums/c326/scenechick/?action=view&current=denise.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i30.photobucket.com/albums/c326/scenechick/denise.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /> <a href="http://s30.photobucket.com/albums/c326/scenechick/?action=view&current=AJ.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i30.photobucket.com/albums/c326/scenechick/AJ.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /> <a href="http://s30.photobucket.com/albums/c326/scenechick/?action=view&current=aiden.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i30.photobucket.com/albums/c326/scenechick/aiden.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /> <a href="http://s30.photobucket.com/albums/c326/scenechick/?action=view&current=ajcup.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i30.photobucket.com/albums/c326/scenechick/ajcup.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br />

Mar. 17th, 2009

Feelings...

 Just when i think its safe
in this game called affection
i'm reeled back in
all the emotions come streaming back in
like a sudden rainstorm on a august day
i wasn't ready for this
and it hit me like a ton of bricks
the wait was excruciating 
and the wait between texts even worse
in these 4 months
i've felt every emotion that there is to feel
the lullaby spun into your spoken word
is enough to keep me forever
and the lack of interest in blank words is enough
to cause my last breath
i would go through everyday in pain
if i could spend an hour of my life in your arms
its almost 3 in the morning
and the emotions are all settling now
spun around like a tornado all day on our 4 month anniversary
we text all day, talked all night
about life
about love
about whats to come
just when i let my guard down
just when i think i'm going to be okay
it becomes apparent to me that i can't do this without you
and so i wait
by an open window
knowing that we see the same moon keeps me calm
the clouds dance around elegantly in the sky tonite
the wind is chilled
it makes the hairs stand up on the back of my neck
but the goosebumps don't stand a chance
to the butterflies i get from hearing your voice
the music playing is mellow
muttering "without you i'll be miserable at best"
and i didn't plan this
i didn't chose this song
but it seems to fit so well
the most subtle expressions from you make my heart skip a beat
the slightest tone change in your voice makes it break
all of these things are irrelevant 
what does matter
is that for as long as i live
there will never be anyone i will love as much as you.

Mar. 8th, 2009

11.16.08

I thought you made me somebody

As I withstood the utterly disgusting lifestyle you brought me into

You made me believe being talked down was a way of life

The smiles never stood a chance to the heartache

like a plane crash things spiraled downward

being guilt tripped everyday 

chipping at my self worth constantly

breaking down my walls while breaking the girl inside as well

there are truths in this

truthfully making me question if i was good enough 

good enough for what?

I think of things sometimes as experiences

Theres not a single thing in this life i would change

except for you, the time we had together

how i wish it had never happened

how far back i've fallen in my journey in life because of the person you've made me

so it would be a lie to say that you didn't impact my life

but it would be fiction to say that you made a positive change

the only thing i'm positive of is that i shouldn't have wasted time on you




Dec. 22nd, 2008

everyone in my phone

 ? Adam Aladdin Alan.Apathy Albert.Ink AlexXx Allison.Elizabeth Ally.Poo Alyson.Stoner Amazing.Austin Amelia.Bestie AnDouchebag Andrew Greiner Andrew.Angst AnneMarie Apple.Mac Ashley.Carson Athina.Stockman Aubrebree Aunt Julie Aunt Michelle Aunt Robyn Aunt.Beth Baby.Josh BeenUp2 Ben.Breakdown BestBuy Blake.Chico Bobbie Brutal.Brenden Camelwide Cameron Cantilope.Katie Cassie Chandler ChelseaSeth Cheyanna Chris (vegas) Chris... Chris.Brown Chris.Cannibal Chris.Wayward Club.Underground College Achievement Program Courtney Courtney.Claire Crispin Cuddle.Buddy Curbstomp.Cameron Cute Chico Boy D.Darryl Dan.Random Dana Daniel Kenneth David Alcantara David.Ridicc Dead.Vagina Debbie Devie.Depression Disaster.Dusty Dylon.DillyBar Emily.Pictures Erika.Paint Eyeliner.Erica Favi.Cakes Flyleaf Frankie Gordons GrandSierraCinema Greggus Greggory.Blaze Hannibal.Hector Hayden.Moore Holly.Dolly Home Jackass.Justin Jen Jeremy.Handimanjr Johanna Josh.Scarpuzzi Jourdan Justice Kade.Cuddlebug Kayla Chandler Kevin.Kanez Kiel Killaclownguy Kittie Rae Kutthroat.Katie Kyrie.KeroScene L.C. Lipstick.Licia Lisa0wnsy0u Loran LSD MagicMarker.Micalea Makena.Murderscene Mark.xsiux Matthew.Lush Mauricio Mikey.Pee Mister.Paige Mom Monique Nesto Home Never.Shout.Nesto Nikki.AM Nita Nocturnal.Nate ParkingGarage.Spencer Pat.Pancake Phillip Puppy.Todd Rad.Randy Randa.Rainbow RedBull RejectionHotline Richard Ricky.Rage Ryan.Ravioli Sarahcuda Savannah.Suicide Saybyn Borges Scene King Scensy Shelby Elle Sherri Stacies Mom Starr Stevie.Scream Sunshine.Shane Super.Jordan Sweet.Justin Tannykins Tawny.Jordans Tayla.Terror Taylor The Holland Project Theo Theresa.Lynns.Daughter Tiffy.Terror Tim Trevor.Glowpaint Tyler.Aim Uncle Jeff Wes Wesley.WFBWC Weston Buck Willie Zimi

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